What is Wrong with me?

This just started on Monday, I've been feeling really tired, angry, lonely, and not hungry at all. My daily routine, wake up, get ready for the day, go to school, go to co-op, come home and sleep, not even my homework gets done. I don't want to eat because I'm not hungry and I don't get to see my friends with the schedule I'm on right now. I know I want to feel happy, and I know I can't be depressed because, I don't feel depressed, I am happy don't get me wrong just little things here and there upset me, anger me, make me feel lonely but, I am happy just super tired. I don't know any more...
February

I was Right; and now I'm scared

I was right, you took no interest in me last night, I wanted you too, but you didn't and I believe you won't ever.
If I was right about my first prediction, then I'm scared my next prediction of me not having a relationship until I'm 30 will come true too, or I'll be alone forever. Well where do I find my 30 cats?
-.-
February 

Okay then...

So last night in my dream it was really weird but felt so really, but you know Daniel Radcliffe? The young man who plays Harry Potter and Arthur Kipp in The Woman in Black, well he was in my dream. My parents were his chauffeurs, so I got to meet him. Then all of a sudden we were together as a couple living in England on a big lot of land, which my cousins lived there too, but I've never met these people, any ways, I was going to school there too a private school, and Daniel was never around. Then he came home and stayed with us for a bit.
That's when the realism flew out the window, because then he started turning into a mad man, and turned into a werewolf, but no worries it ended well, we got married and I became a teacher at the private school....
Really weird!
February 

Why do you do this to me?

Why should I have to choose who to celebrate my birthday with? If I want to celebrate with both friend A and friend B. For one day you should just suck it up and be together. If you choose to leave it's practically saying we're not friends, I just came to have something to do, and that I really don't care about you. It's basically a kick in the face. Don't do that to me, at least not on my birthday.

Sincerely,

February 

Why? Why can't I sleep?

My mind runs wild sometimes, tonight and for the last two nights it's been out of control. I'm nervous for my first day of co-op, scared for my birthday party thingy, unfinished homework, grade 12 , also can't wait to see Mr.lacrosse man, and at the same time can't stop thinking about him. I'm now going to Google my problem of non sleeping and find an answer to help me sleep...
Let's hope I get some sleep soon.
February

I feel like I can tell what's going to happen

I've thought about you too much, and made it too obvious, I believe you're going to tell me what every other boy has told me, "you're great but, not for me..." then we'll continue our friendship... Am I forever alone? or do I just feel forever alone? Fingers are still crossed that a spark will happen this weekend, but a strong doubt is still there... Show up soon in my life guy who won't make me feel forever alone please.
Sincerely,
Forever alone, 
February

What the hell?!

WHY am I thinking of you? I can't stand you, we broke our friendship off many months ago. WHY?! maybe it's because you're birthday is coming up, and I'm wondering if I should be nice enough to write on your wall even though you're a total ass hole. Does HBD give off the message of, hey, I hate you, but I'm trying to be nice, or should I waste my time and write out the whole happy... yeah you know the sentence,but then you might go all psycho and continue to think I'm  madly in love with you...
well, the message I REALLY want to send  to you is, Happy birthday Ass hole, hope you stub you big toe on the corner of a very pointy table. :)
Sincerely,
February 

The countdown begins

Only a few more days until I get to see you again. It's been forever since I've seen you... I miss you Mr.Lacrosse player, I hope you've missed me too. We've been talking for a little bit lately, and you've asked if I like anyone and I know I've made myself obvious to you and how I feel, I hope you've picked up on those messages I've been sending you, and maybe you'll make my birthday a little bit more special.. 

February

Keep on dreaming; you'll get it soon!

Great news! I got what I've worked hard for! My placement, I've waited nearly a year for it, and now I have it. The greatest phone call I've ever had!
Just goes to show, you get what you dream of, if you've work your butt off for it!
Sincerely,
February

I want to be that girl

I want to be the girl you like.
Girl you cuddle, the girl you kiss the girl that you make laugh.
I want to be the girl that makes you smile, and hold your hand.
I want to be the girl that you feel comfortable crying in front of, because a guy who shows his true feelings is a man who is sexy and hot, not childish or wimpy.
I want to be the girl that you like..
I want to be the girl you randomly hug, and kiss my forehead,
I want to be the girl to go to all of your games and cheer you on, and even if you lose, I tell you it's okay, I still love you.
I want to be the girl that makes you your favourite foods and desserts whenever I can, and when every you want them.
I want to be that girl you like...
Sincerely,
February

You don't know or understand.

We've been best of friends for 11 years now. We've had our ups and downs. I've told you all of my secrets. I've told you the struggles I've been experiencing, but i don't think you care, you're more concerned about you're own life... I guess that's fine, you can continue to not listen, and be in your own world, but realize that, this attitude won't get you anywhere. When I asked you how much I owe you, you respond with you know, but personally I don't. I have more things to worry about then that, and so I forget to tell you who's coming to the mall with us,  I have more important things to worry about... You can continue to have your little bitterness, but realize that this attitude won't get you anywhere. Just grow up, I'm tired of dealing with childish ways and attitudes.
I've been debating this now for a while, but are you even worth being my friend if I have to worry about what I tell you in case you have a bitch fit?
Once you tell me how much I owe you, and I pay you, I think we should just take a break for a few weeks...
Please understand and open your eyes and your ears, there's important things passing you and you're missing them all.
Sincerely,
February 

Difference between...

Dear people in my third period class.... yes I want to be a police officer one day maybe, not a lawyer.. when you asked me "why don't you want to be a lawyer, because being a police officer is the same thing as a lawyer."
Hate to break it to you but they're not... AT ALL! First of all they only relate because they fall under the field of work in law.. that's the only way they are similar.
Police fight crime, they put the bad behind bars.
Lawyers fight for "the right" of people... the way I see it, a lawyer is hired to defend both the guilty and the innocent. They defend the ones put behind bars....for the crime they committed, the guilty ones... I'm sorry I refuse to help a murder get out of prison by playing the, mentally unstable card or he's really sorry for what he did, or my client did not commit this crime... NOT HAPPENING!
Being a Police officer and a Lawyer are two different careers, not the same at all....
I had to get that off my chest...

February

Valentine's Day

February 14th, the day that you either love or hate, you're either pro-Valentine's day or anti-Valentine's day.
I personally don't mind it. I find I celebrate it on my own most of the time by making myself a good meal, wear comfortable clothes like sweat pants, my hair in a messy bun, have my fuzzy peaches and watch a variety of movies, I guess, I am my own Valentine and in a way, my own best boyfriend, I mean, I buy exactly what I want, I let myself have my "ugly" days, I put make-up on if I want to, I find myself pretty no matter what, the only thing I can't do is give myself my own boyfriend hug which I'd love to have....
Mr.Valentine where are you? I need a hug and a Daisy maybe...
February

Blah.

There's so much going on in my life right now I feel, yet I don't have that much. I guess I just have a lot going on in my mind and I've been wondering and worrying about a lot lately.
 Will I get this placement that I really want? and if I do get it, how behind will I fall? Will I like it?
 Why hasn't he texted me back? I thought we're friends?
 Will everything go smooth this month?
 I hope my birthday celebration goes well.
 Did I pass all of my first semester classes? Will I reach my goal of an 80% average at the end of this year? Will I be going to summer school this year to get ahead of the game next year?
Are people looking at me weirdly because I dyed my hair?
Does that boy from English like me? Why does he keep looking at me in the halls? Why is he so polite and hang out with the ass holes of the school?
Will the idea I have to change my hair next work out as well as I hope it does?
 Should I be worried about all of this?
These are probably the reasons I can't sleep at night.
Ughh....
February